RECIPROCITY

I had a short post on this topic a week ago. Short because I really didnt have that much time. I was prepping for a flight to Iloilo when I decided to write.

Just to reiterate for emphasis, I said, if there is one word that can describe my 2011 it is Reciprocity.

I am the kind of person who wants to befriend everybody. As in every single person. I want to be liked not only by a limited few but by all. So to do that, I do all kinds of stuff just to please people. Even it will be beyond what I am really capable of doing or beyond my comfort zone. This is not because I wanted to please just to be liked but the actions are always sincere. The thought process always is to make good and lasting friendships.

In the real world, I learned just this 2012, it is different. Most of the people you will encounter arent true at all. Most of them are fakes. This was a very hard learning for me. It made me different. One thing that must have been wrong from the very beginning is that I expect to be treated in return the same way I treated them. Authentic. True.

I am not the kind who would want to lose any of those I shared a part of my life with. That is what I do whenever I befriend someone, I share something with him or her. I trust them to share this intimate information with no one and will remain as a secret between the two of us, the bond that will be the glue to the relationship we were starting. However, when this knowledge is compromised or when truthfulness is no longer part of the relationship, everything will change.

I am the kind who doesnt forgive easily and one who doesnt forget at all. Whenever I do consider to erase all the bad feelings I have had from any of the bad circumstances, the relationship will not be the same as before. I will really make you feel that it is not the same because I wouldnt be as accomodating, I wouldnt be as friendly and I wouldnt do anything for you. I will be treating you as a regular acquaintance, a person who I wouldnt really think of before or after the time of seeing you again. But rest assured I am very civil and polite.

So this 2011, out of the hundreds of people I knew, I filtered out only a few who I can say have been truthful to me. A few people who have RECIPROCATED my intent of being TRUE FRIENDS. A few people who have been very TRUTHFUL. A few people who aren’t FAKES, BACKSTABBERS, USERS and most of all HATERS who doesn’t have anything to do but gossip and make-up stories about other people.

I think I have made the important people in my life feel how much their value to me is, how vital their part to my existence is. To all of you my GENUINE FRIENDS, I love you!!!! May we continue to be friends further in the future until we are old and grey. <3<3<3

Reciprocity – My WORD for 2011

If there is one word that can describe my 2011, it can be summed up by the word that my friend Kat have mentioned in one of our most recent face-to-face conversations. Reciprocity.

I think I cannot finish what I meant to say in here but let me tell you this, it has been a realization and life-learning filled year for me. Lets just leave it at that for now. I will be on a week of internet hiatus (I hope) and will be back on the eve of the 6th of January 2012.

May everybody have a meaningful and safe 2012 beginning!! Mwah!!

Pamurugso

Gapamurugso ako

Pero sa mga tawo lang nga mahirop ako

Gapamurugso ako

Sa mga tawo lang nga ginapalangga ko

Ikaw nga nag akusar

Nga ginpamurugsuan ko

Sobra ka karadlawan

Insa?

Una

Indi kita marapit sa isa kag isa

Ikaduha

Waay ko ikaw ginapalangga

Kung indi man klaro kanimo

Ukon waay mo man naintindihan

Te imo dun ran problema

Para kanakon

Klaro katama

Mamurugso ako

Sa mga tawo nga palangga ko

#1: DC Post I Like!

I like what DC said on her blog… now now… I am not at work, still on the recuperating stage, so I have the time to read… read a lot I do….. She is talking of important dates in her life here..

“And I don’t hold grudges if people forget. Because anyway, the most important ones in my life actually don’t. Which is how the inverse proportion of friends work in relativity to age. The younger you are, the more friends you have. But the older you get, some or a lot fall away and it becomes an edited group of closely knit, like-minded philosophers and etchoseras. And I’m happy with that.”

Very well said DC.. I love eeett!

BEING INTIMATE WITH ME: ON FRIENDSHIP

I have not been this sensitive before. What I could not understand about myself is that why on earth am I so sensitive in the period of my life where I should be more understandable, more adaptive. I could not just comprehend this nature that is overpowering me, enveloping me.

 

 

There was this time when I became possessive of my friends. Because of the close knitted relationship of which involves talking about everything, anything, no holds barred, I became overprotective. That maybe was too close for comfort but isn’t it the way friends are? They all became so close they would know not only the first names of their friends’ parents but even know their mobile numbers and more so be in constant communication with them.

 

 

Usually, when I gain friends, I give all for the relationship to prosper, to grow but now I found out that it does not work to all types of people. Or they’re really not friends for me to keep? Sometimes one could be blinded with the depth of friendship by the things you have shared with one another, of the length of the friendship. But eventually I learned and realized that all of the things you have invested were only superficial, nothing to be taken seriously.

 

I really could not control this emotion but I think I will eventually get over with this feeling. I really could not keep it from arising within me now. What could be more disastrous and unhealthy is if I would just keep it inside and let it be dormant for the time being, wait for it to pile up and explode with even me not knowing the extent of the damage. Do you feel that also? That sometimes you just do things because of a reason you know existed but could not retrieve from your memory bank? Let me just express my feelings. Please understand. If you’re a friend or a person who could identify, then you would.

 

 

Friends come and go, but “people treasures”, that’s what I call my recently found siblings, my extended family, and my real friends, don’t. They may be far, but the bond continues to prosper.

 

This is what I have written as the first of the series of knowing myself, of assessing myself with before hand knowledge or just-now-while-I’m-typing-realizations series, and of things that troubles me at the moment. I consider it a trouble for it affects my personality and my views in life in such a way I could not comprehend. I just feel.